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i have a sister out there. yep, we were separated at birth. but that doesn’t matter now, fate brought us together. haha. shucks…

i have this theory. it’s not as crazy as my usual theories though. haha.

each of us has a soul sister. nice, huh?!

i met mine years ago. now, i share every bit of chikka there is…my three fave things, my apple juice tears, my bees, non-ending jokes, my paolo crave (haha)….the list doesn’t end. and i love it! there can be no better person to go chikka with! having a soul sister has one slight problem though. when she gets confused about anything…i mean, anything at all (haha.)…well, you can’t really help clear the confusion..so yeah, you get confused too. and vice versa. haha. what you can do is start the confusion the next day. haha.

for me though, this isn’t a problem at all. it’s actually the funnest part of having a soul sister. hai, once the hyperness starts..boy, you can’t stop laughing. one question leads to another and another and another. and each time, it gets crazier. goshers, it’s so fun, we stay awake til 2 am…confused and bothered. haha. but you can’t think too much about these stuff, you’ll just go bogo. hahaha. really, i’m serious. haha. no, i’m just kidding. haha. not…btaw, joke lang. haha. actually, it  really does. haha.

a soul sister is someone who shares the middle of the doughnut with you. haha. but that will not stop you from loving her. doing that makes the friendship even better. because in the middle of a starvation crisis, i won’t need half a doughnut. (that won’t even reach my stomach.haha)..i will rather want someone to go hungry with. well, not exactly. haha. point is, i will always need someone who’ll share the same feelings. i don’t need anyone telling me things are okay, because if i’m mad, then obviously, things aren’t going well for me. doi. a true souls sister will not make everything well like magic, what she does is simple. she’ll get mad or sad or happy or hungry or whatever with you…

and of course, this makes evrything so much better… she makes you too confused that you just can’t help but smile.

so, for my soul sister. i owe you a million favors. love you so super duper over grabe much…mwah…

question…

why do we say waistline?? i get the ‘waist’ part..but where did ‘line’ come from…

haha…:)

aaaaaahhhhh!

i wish i could be somewhere else tonight. anywhere at all. i’d rather go to Pluto even if it would kill me. at least death would save me from weeks of pretences and backbiting. i thought being plipax would leave no room for anger. but God knows how much i can take. they’ve pushed me too much for too many times. this is beyond what insanity could take. and so, here i am…crying. they don’t deserve a single tear, yet it’s the only thing i can do without hurting anyone else..but myself. after everything, i still end up the loser.

all i ever did was keep my mouth shut. when i was mad, i calmed myself by laughing at the littlest things. i even made myself look so silly just to keep my mind off anything that bothered me. exactly why i always felt hyper the past few days. i guess it was a bad idea. maybe, i should never have done that…because now, i get no respect. 

seriously, there isn’t any respect left in this house anymore. nil. this isn’t even a house anymore…a junkyard would better describe it.

how dare they. they don’t even have the decency to control themselves as guests. and i call them guests. wow. i shouldn’t have bothered sharing my room..or my blankets…or my pillows. but, guess what?! they (just two of them) get to sleep on the california king with three pillows each while my sisters and i sleep on matresses on the floor with barely a pillow each. but, i’m not complaining. i don’t have the right to do that. they’re GUESTS. I should compromise. oh well, i still get sleep..so what.

argh.

i hate it so much when people become bias. especially when it leads to wrong judgement. the people she favors are whom she talks to. they are the ones she hears. i don’t exist as a daughter anymore, i am now the villain. i make her life a living hell. me. i am wrong. i am selfish. i am irresponsible.

she, on the other hand, is perfect. she’s helpful. she’s nice. she’s generous. she. of course, she is favored. maybe she should consider adoption. that way, she gets what she wants. i can go somewhere else, it would be my pleasure!hmm…she may have forgotten the many times i’ve helped around the house while the other watches tv in our loft…or maybe watching tv all day is one way of helping too. i should try that. 

i know things though which makes it so hard for me to understand the preference. see, she isn’t exactly who she is when with her peers. she’s lazy, conceited and pretentious. Brat! God forgive me, but..What a fake! and now, she’s in the brainwashing stage. isn’t it great?! one more day, and i’ll be the impious demon. then again, maybe that would be good…because ‘the demon can’t be hurt’.

hai, what a life! it’s just wonderful. i get to spend my summer with such joy. no torture at all…why would i feel hurt now?! they’ve destroyed me over and over. i’ve cried my last bucket of tears tonight.

seriously, i don’t care anymore. i don’t think i ever should. i can’t wait for school.

LOST IN A

SEA

OF

FACES

I see the city lights all around me.

Everyone’s obscure.

Ten million people each with their problems

Why should anyone care?

And in your eyes, I can see

I’m not just a man vastly lost in this world

lost in a sea of faces.

Your body’s the bread

Your blood is the wine

because you traded your life for mine

Sometimes my life, it feels so trivial.

Immersed in the greatness of space

Yet somehow you still find the time for me.

It’s then you show me your love.

And in your eyes, I can see.

And in your arms, I will be

I’m not just a man vastly lost in this world

lost in a sea of faces.

Your body’s the bread

Your blood is the wine

because you traded your life for mine

If only my one heart

was all you’d gain from all it cost

Well, I know you would have still been a man

with a reason to willingly offer your life.

I’m not just a man vastly lost in this world

lost in a sea of faces.

Your body’s the bread

Your blood is the wine

because you traded your life for mine

Just one in a million faces.

*my heart melts each time i hear this song. i wonder why i still have a heart after all these melting moments. haha. this post is for my GOD, my superhero! : ) woohoo!

This post is for Boktot..whoever you might be…haha.

I didn’t mean anything bad about the name.

Ummm…maybe it’s not so bad. Just look at it this way Boks, it’s just book and toot put together while taking away one ‘o’ from each word. Booktoot…boktot… see, it isn’t that bad. Maybe that didn’t help at all. Haha.  Oh, is it okay if I call you Boks? Or would you prefer Tots? Okay, no nicknames for you.

I have a great idea though. I think it’s worth a try. If you’ll have kids in the future, you can share the burden. You can’t keep the burden all by yourself, you’ll go crazy. Anyway, you can name him Boktoter. That way, you can introduce yourself by saying, “Hi, I’m Boktot. He’s Boktoter.” Haha. Or maybe not. It would be so mean to name your child Boktoter.

Don’t worry. No one cares about the name. It’s the personality that truly counts, and I’m sure you’re a good guy. I hope so, or I’m dead meat.

*I’m simply being crazy in this post, so if there really is someone out there named Boktot, please don’t mind me. I was just being plipax here. No hard feelings! Haha.

PEACE dude! Haha.

*if you’re in a bad mood, you might not want to read this post. This is nonsense. Haha. ..and if your name’s Boktot, it’s a really bad idea to read this. Haha.

The name doesn’t count; it’s the personality that truly matters, they say. But what if his name’s Boktot? Wouldn’t that matter at all? What if his family name is Ko? Oh man, I pity the person. Boktot Ko.?! I think he has the right to complain. Haha.

So, what’s in a name? I don’t know, but I sure don’t want to be named Boktot! Haha

**This post is dedicated to a cutie friend whom pia and I left unfinished hugs to. (don’t worry, I didn’t mention any names. In case it’s too freaky! Haha.) **

Wow. I just had the best night in my whole entire life, but *sigh, it’s over.

The night was different and undoubtedly the most memorable yet.

I don’t remember a time before last night when I was as carefree. It was a night when ‘stop thinking’ was actually possible. Haha..,and when being crazy was the sanest thing to do. Of course, I couldn’t forget…last night, spongebob was round. Haha. I will never want to forget a single second in the veranda. “dugay kayo magmature ang girls oi.”, undeniably the best line of my under-aged innocent most ‘missable’ friend ever. Haha.

Shucks, I couldn’t just forget my best friend, my teacher, ‘my’ brother (hahaha!) even if I’d do it piece by piece. I wouldn’t want to anyway. Hehe. Why, oh why did you grow up to be such a cutie pie?! Haha. Gosh. Okay, I’m freaking myself out again! Plipax. I just can’t help myself. Those cheeks are so pinch-worthy! Haha. And who cares if the still has gel and sweat on his hair? He still is the cutest ever… if I could only get him to stay as innocent. Stop growing na beh. Hehe.

I want to say thanks to the people who stayed in the same room with me throughout the night although I am pretty sure I wan’t such a burden. Haha. Joke joke.

To Frankie, who got ‘kilig’ all of a sudden during the most unkiligable scene, thanks for not running away during storytelling! You make the best rat tricks too. Shaw rel bh shall be your apprentice. Haha. To pia, my sleeping partner (did you ever move a muscle during your sleep?!), catching your viral asthma will be a great honor! Eek. Haha! To Nicole, whose invitation made all these possible, I couldn’t say anything less than…..plipax ka sa tanang plipax! Haha. Celebrate insanity. Joke. Seriously, thanks. would-you-rather’s wouldn’t be as fun without you. I still can’t get over the noise-making thighs. Hahaha! ..or the long, curly, exposed nose hair. Eek! Haha. Thanks most especially for being the only friends who do the whatever-you-call-it hand thing to decide who takes a bath first. Haha. It was my idea, wasn’t it? Yeah, ideas such as those are usually mine. Crazy, but they work. Haha!

I will be missing the cheesy eggs, the rat/elephant, the wyr’s, the dedication!! haha, the sudden kilig effect, the matrix bee killing and the huddles..haha! I shall always always miss the supermom, the ahia, the dihia, the SAHIA, and the achi. Shucks. There will a lot of thinking after this. Haha.

I’ll be anticipating for your version of iris…just call whenever you’re ready so pia and I can book our flights..and frankie can climb the boondoks of your subdivision! haha.

As the sleepover ended with bittersweet (haha. OA!) goodbyes, so shall this post. Sniff. And so…since this post is dedicated to sahia, there can be no other better closing but this single word he uttered before the final goodnight’s… “pillow.”

Haha.

I look down at my feet;

my toes, amongst countless grains of sand.

footsteps vanish with each passing wave.

a single breath of hopefully a lifetime more.

the sunset amazes me,

and the wind perfects this very moment

the rocks dance with the sea.

the skies are still witnesses.

i am a hazy shadow

amidst trees and conch shells;

only an audience of this great play

of flights through the horizon

and leaps through the seven seas.

a new world discovers itself

of mermaids and kings

where castles tell of great journies

and hero stories

and fairy tales.

this is a dream, i believe.

everything is perfect,

but i can’t be here for long.

i don’t want to.

because if i would,

then i’d have to be perfect all by myself.

i like imperfection.

it gives me a reason to find someone to perfect me.

like how the wind perfects this very moment.

i look down at my feet.

our toes are amongst countless grains of sand.

our hands clasp,

and everything becomes a dream.

perfect.

the waters slowly run back.

the stars amaze me,

and the moon is an audience

of the unerased stretch of footprints.

a set mine, a set his.

a new world dawns itself,

of pixie dusts and wishes

where fairies sing of love songs

and happily-ever-after’s.

i hear music.

he tells me,

"listen, i made them sing for you."

haha. i’m ecstatic! yipee.

who would believe what friza, pia, nicole and i are doing for the summer!haha. and i dare say that we are doing pretty good. we’ve had a lot of "YUP’s" and "very good’s" too. ha! watch out world, we’re coming out. haha.

i guess i’m just beginning to discover a new passion. maybe, i’m really meant for this. maybe, this IS my future career. haha. if ever, i’m doomed..unless of course i’ll go international. world cup??? haha. what if i become a great player playing with the greatest team! uuy…!to my fellow desperadoes (a.k.a names above…haha.), i just want to say…

what was that oi…?! haha.  go team!

life, death and hope.

from dust, we were made

unto dust we shall return.

life is too short to waste. Death made me realize that today. i’ve already wasted 17 years of my life by doing what i thought is most important. all the while, i thought i was doing well, but i was making a big mistake. there are so many things to do, and i don’t know where to start. and as i look back at how i lived my life, i begin to regret the times i failed to be happy. it could have been wonderful if i smiled more often, laughed more loudly, cried a little less, made more friends….see, life isn’t about glory or wealth. rather, it is about true happiness and sacrifice. it isn’t about me, but about others. nor is it about hate, but love.

today, i decide to live.